Toddler Wrangling Training Kit

toddlerwrangingSo you now have a Toddler, that once tiny baby who only slept, ate and pooed now talks, runs and dismantles. You knew it was coming but you had no clue the importance the skill of Toddler Wrangling would become.

I wish I had a kit to train me in the art of Toddler Wrangling but the problem is that you only realise you need it when it is too late.

Below is a list of items that are essential in training you in the Art of Toddler Wrangling.

Mini Pack of Lego

Like fire walking training for parents. Even if you never buy your kids Lego somehow a rogue Lego Agent will infiltrate your home and lay in wait for the opportunity to strike. This will be when your barefoot and seeking past your sleeping child.

Electronic Toy Noise on Repeat

This is to help you deal with the constant playing of the once cute talking book which will be used by your toddler as a weapon. The same button will be pressed and your toddler will not break eye contact till you break, so be prepared.

A Kettlebell

Use this to run up and down the stairs with it to prepare you for the joy of potty training. Simple run up and down the stairs 100 times a day and your set for the easiest part of the potty training saga.

A Goat

I know your thinking why a goat? Well, you’ll need this to eat half your meals and to turn your house over on a daily, as your toddler will do this for the next 15 years minimum. This has the added extra of smelling like a teenager to help prepare you for later on, so a two for one really.

Pack of Raisins

This like the Lego has a way of finding a path into your car whether you buy any or not. Take the raisins and spread them liberally around the back seat of your car. Also make sure you get them right down the back of the seat to ensure the next owner of the car has the joy of finding one in 15 years time. It’s like being an Archaeologist but with no pay or knowledge of history.

Unfortunately this kit is not available on Amazon or Ebay. This due to the fact that this is the ramblings of a stay at home dad with minimum sleep, heavy toddler workout sessions and the fact that I have been used as a climbing frame for the last hour.

Let me know in the comments if you have other items to add to the kit.



3 Little Buttons
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Sarah – Mud, Cakes and Wine

Hahahaha so true and this is my third, the car is just a mess and full of lego #dreamteam

I cleaned the car yesterday and already finding toys back in the foot well.

Dan I love this.! It’s all so true. Currently at the same stage with Poppy.

Annette, 3 Little Buttons

Haha! Yes! All these. Especially the food items shoved down every seat and crevice in the car.

Annette, 3 Little Buttons

Opps.. I somehow managed to submit my comment with this… I would also add in catch training. Simply find the heaviest object possible in the house and drop from a height randomly. The other parent should aim to catch the falling object wherever they may be in the house. If you are solo parenting, try dropping and catching at the same time. This will be to prepare for toddler rampage as they fly around the house pulling out drawers and allsorts of heavy objects that you thought were out of reach. Thanks for joining us for the #DreamTeam 🙂

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